Binge

I try to eat healthy. Most days it's pretty easy to do that. I'll have a salad and a bowl of chili beans. Or a salad with some baked chicken (lately salad has been on sale). Or boiled eggs and oatmeal for breakfast. But then there are days, like today, where I see a pizza sitting in the breakroom and it calls to me. After I eat it, I feel guilty and mad at myself for doing it. I wasn't hungry, my stomach was still a little upset from lunch and the pizza was cold. But I ate it anyways because it was there; the last one in the box. I could have stopped at the dry crust or after all the cheese slipped off. But I didn't. And now I'm full sitting at my desk writing about how full I am.

It's addict behavior. I know it's bad for me, it does nothing for me and it takes me two steps backwards after I had taken one forward. And I'm not just talking about the one pizza I had today. It's the extra fist fulls of potato chips after the sandwich is gone, the extra cheese on top of the chili beans and the sugary cereal late at night.

It is very hard to control sometimes because food is everywhere all the time. No one is in control over how much I eat except me and I sometimes give in to my cravings and what tastes good. I've struggled with this forever but I feel I have more discipline than I did years ago. You should see what I could eat at the buffet when I was in high school. I used to have Ramen noodles as a snack after school before dinner.

I have changed my ways because I know more about food and calories than I care to admit. I changed my ways because I don't have to eat like my parents and I am completely free to try new things and I can afford the healthy stuff now. I'm not saying my parents made "skeddy" all the time, they mostly prepared meat-and-potato dishes with a side of canned veggies. We had a poor man's diet because we were poor. Now we're not poor and we definitely eat a lot healthier because of it. No joke, there are salads, nuts and quinoa at my parent's house. They changed their ways too.

Scarfing down that cold pizza made me think about how I used to be long time ago and how far I've come on my journey to wellness. If you're on your journey to wellness, a word of advice: there will be days like this and it takes time to change the way you eat because the way you eat is part of your lifestyle.

A year in food photos

In 2013 I have eaten at so many places in Las Cruces and taken so many food photos as a food writer for the Sun-News. I have perfected taking food photo porn and am producing mouth-watering photos every week.
Here are my top 10 most beautiful food photos of the year (get hungry!):

 10.

Guacamole burger from Guacamole's.

9.

Ahi tuna from MFive.

8.

Flautas at Los Tios.

7.

 The Monster Burger from the Welcome In Cafe.

6.

Spicy Ramen from Kim-Chi House.

5.

Cheesecake from the Third Floor Bistro.

4. 

Baked Brie at Double Eagle.

3.

Creme brulee from Cafe A Go Go.

2.

Lobster bisque from De La Vega's Pecan Grill & Brewery.

1. 

Pulled pork Ruben sandwich from the Third Floor Bistro.

All photos by Andi Murphy

The weather outside is frightful

As trees shake off the last of their leaves and clouds release snow flakes and rain over Las Cruces, I can't help but crave a good soup that warms and satisfies. I've eaten at a lot of places in town and looked at a lot of menus, so I know of a soup or two that I can call my favorites.

1. I hate to let you down after I announce this soup as my No. 1 best soup in town, but Spicy Ramen soup from Kim-Chi House is to die for. Kim-Chi House closed on Solano Drive, but the owners are in motion to merge with Pho Saigon on El Paseo. I talked to Mama Suki of Kim-Chi House at Pho Saigon lately and she said as soon as she gets the hang of cooking Vietnamese food she will roll out Korean favorites and I hope Spicy Ramen soup is one of them. It's a large bowl of Ramen noodles mixed with spices, beef broth, eggs and a few vegetables. I believe it has kimchi in it, that's why it's so delicious.  It was a total surprise when I ordered this. I can't wait until they start making Korean food at Pho Saigon. I'll let you know as soon as this happens.

The magic of Ramen noodles! Spicy Ramen at Kim-Chi House.

2. Pho is pretty much the best soup in the world. It's always listed on the best foods of the world lists somewhere at the top. Billions of people can't be wrong about pho and I'm glad Las Cruces now has two Vietnamese restaurants (Pho Saigon on El Paseo and A Dong on Lohman Avenue) where pho is being served seven days a week. Pho starts out as a bowl of noodles and raw and thin slices of onion and beef. Once the boiling hot beef broth is poured over it the noodles become soft, the onions release their flavors and the thin cuts of beef are cooked all the way through. The broth has a mixture of Asian spices and it's addictive. It's typically served with fresh lime, jalapeños, cilantro and bean sprouts. It's very filling and satisfying.

This is the Pho Saigon special. It has tripe, tendon and thin-cut beef.

3. Lobster bisque at De La Vega's Pecan Grill was a nice surprise for me. I had asked chef Alfredo Vargas to submit a holiday recipe for Pulse and he submitted one for lobster bisque. He also made it for me so that I could take a photo for the hard copy of Pulse entertainment magazine. And after I took some gorgeous magazine shots, I ate it, bowl and all. It has a very pleasant seafood smell and an even better seafood taste. It's creamy without being too thick or hearty and the bread bowl is just an awesome feature.

Lobster bisque from Pecan Grill.

4.  Green chile wonton soup from Boba Cafe is a hot bowl of pure goodness. I don't know if it's like this all the time, but when I had a bowl of this stuff last time it was extremely hot, like, chile-hot. Now, I don't usually like overly spicy things like that but the flavor was so good I kept going in for more. The soft carrots and juicy wontons were delectable and savory. The fiery chile made my eyes water and nose drip, but it was good. I think I'll go there again today for wonton soup and ask for a little less chile. There is also green chile wonton soup at Cafe A Go Go on north Telshore by Sam's Club, if you're on that side of town.

The green chile chicken wonton soup from Boba Cafe is made fresh and served with a handful of spinach.

5. Chicken waterzooi at Bite of Belgium. They don't make this all the time so you have to call them, 575-527-2483, or like them on Facebook to find out their soup specials of the day. Waterzooi is my favorite because it has a sensuous and strong chicken flavor. It's a little bit creamy, smooth and has a few vegetables and potatoes in the mix. I would say "clean chicken flavor" because the vegetables don't really have a presence until you bit into them. It's extremely warming and comforting.

6. Menudo at just about any Mexican restaurant in town. The picture below is from Old Town Restaurant and this bowl of menudo is pretty delicious. I rarely order menudo — and this was actually my mom's bowl — but I think this was pretty great. I know everyone has their favorite and I'm not trying to change anyone's mind because I'm no expert in menudo. I just really enjoyed this bowl and it's the only photo I have of menudo in my archive. Also, the albogdegas is great at Chachi's. I think anything that comes with a heap of cilantro is the greatest!

 All-you-can-eat menudo (Saturday and Sunday) at Old Town Restaurant is pretty great.

 Albondigas at Chachi's comes with tortillas and a heap of cilantro.

Better than fast food (And it just so happens to be National Food Day. Fitting.)

It's National Food Day (Oct. 24)! It's a celebration of healthy, affordable and sustainable foods. Take some time to think about where all your food comes from and how you can get better at cooking healthy, fresh and by using local ingredients. Food is very important to many aspects of life and you should really learn to appreciate it and not waste it.

I had a sandwich from Schlotzsky's for dinner last night and then a Schlotzsky's salad for lunch. I had coupons so dinner and lunch only cost me $4. As much as I enjoy the ease of picking up dinner quickly and paying so little, I hate times like this when I'm all out of ideas, I don't feel like cooking and I'm too busy and tired to sit at the dinner table. I don't like to see fast food bags in the trash can. I sort of feel like a lazy slob when this happens and it also makes me feel guilty about all the fat and salt I've eaten and taken into my body.

I put together the Fast Food Fast Facts in the monthly Healthy U magazine and it's surprising how many calories and salt fast food has. Most times, single entree items have 60 to 100 percent of your daily sodium allowance, which is around 2,000 milligrams. Schlotzsky's, by far, has the saltiest sandwiches I've ever seen. But when I do Fast Food Fast Facts I often times pair one of the most fattiest items that has the most calories with other items that are much healthier. After doing this for almost two years every month I've finally taken heed and started ordering smart when I do go to fast food restaurants.

(But then there are times when I just want a full Whopper and large fries with a tall Diet Coke. Don't hold it against me, but the Whopper is my favorite burger; not just favorite fast food burger, but my all-time favorite burger from any place, ever. I don't know why, I've had many great burgers from all over the place, but I still crave that Whopper every now and then. Like Tony Stark, if I were held prisoner in a desert and in foreign country for a couple of years, I would like to be greeted with a sack of Whoppers when I get off the plane.)

I'm in a rut; in a place where I have dishes piled to the ceiling, no tasty ideas and no time to make a good meal. I think not being in the mood for anything is the worst. A look in my fridge and cupboards yields no ideas. That's why I end up going to fast food joints. And I don't really hold a grudge against fast food restaurants. They're so convenient and they are everywhere. But I make sure not to get in the habit of regularly visiting them. They're so bad and I can see how burgers and fried chicken can become addicting. Fast food is full of much more sugar and salt that you would normally put in your own food.

I recently watched "600 Pound Dad" and this father was on his way down from 800 to 500 pounds. He had just gotten gastric bypass surgery and was ready to go home. The film crew went to his house and the family was sitting around a meal of cheeseburgers and fries from Wendy's. That was a regular meal for them and the father was going to return to that. It was disgusting and disappointing to see.

I come from the Navajo reservation and a place where the nearest fast food restaurant is one or two hours away. We cooked every meal we ate. If we went into town on the weekend, we would eat some fast food, but that was like a treat for us. And to see normal, American families regularly order fast food pizzas, burgers and fries is kind of mind blowing. They claim it's less expensive, but really, it's not. Growing up poor, McDonald's was a treat for us, not a way to save money. You save money and calories by cooking at home.

Growing up on the reservation, I learned to live without a lot of things. We always made our own because it was either too expensive at the local grocery store or it just wasn't available.

I'm a big advocate for cooking at home and making things from scratch. When I grew up, we didn't bake cookies or bread that came from the tube. Tube pastries were unfathomable. My mom is an excellent cook and she taught me everything I know. She cooked meals for the family every day and when she didn't' cook, my dad would get in the kitchen and turn out something equally delicious.

To me, premade foods were only for rich people who didn't' know how to cook. Fast foods were for rich people who didn't have the time to sit at table. I never developed a taste for premade foods either. They're so salty and rich and not personal at all.

Now that I'm on my own, and I live very close to many fast food restaurants, I make sure to maintain a balance (as in 10 times more home meals than quick, premade, fast food meals). Sometimes I fall off the horse and into these ruts where I have no time and desire to cook. But then I always think back to when I lived on the reservation and we were poor. Cooking with mom was the best and eating a home cooked meal at the table with the family was so warm. I prefer to control my own ingredients, make something personal, put a little love in it and share it with someone who is totally grateful for all your hard work. It's also a lot sexier to see a man in the kitchen, than to have him whip out his credit card to pay for something he didn't make ;)

Eid Celebration

I recently wrote a story on Eid, which took place on Tuesday. It's a Muslim holiday celebrated all over the world, and like Christmas, it includes lots of celebration and food. After talking to local Muslims for my story I was invited to the festivities that took place on Tuesday at the Islamic Center of Las Cruces.

I was excited for this because I heard the foreigners were going to bring special dishes for the occasion. When I say foreigners, I mean people from the Middle East and Asia, which are most of the people who make up the Muslim community in Las Cruces. I also learned that the Eid feast usually consists of pastries and sweet treats, so I knew I had to make a special something . 

I made my special banana bread the night before. I would say the secret is to let the bread sit in the cooling oven for at least an hour after the timer goes off and you turn the oven off. Also, to make it less fattening, I substitute apple sauce for butter.

Once I got to the mosque, or masjid, I was met with a house full of people dressed in their holiday best. I was dressed in nice jeans, a nice sparkly shirt and a cardigan. I immediately felt out of place because my head was not wrapped in a hajib and I was the only one wearing jeans. 

It was not like this when I visited the week before, but since that day was a special day, everyone was dressed in their traditional clothes from their different cultures. I saw men wearing long white robes and I saw women wearing beautiful dresses and their hands painted with henna. This is how I explained it to my mom, "Just like when we have a special holiday or occasion on the reservation, sometimes we wear our traditional Navajo outfits and jewelry. It was like that here. Since it was a special holiday, they wore their traditional outfits." And the kids were wearing these things too. They were so cute, I almost cried. And this is coming from a person who usually feels uneasy around children and tries to stay away from them.

I was on the women's side of the mosque and it was full of chatter, laughing and lots of hugs and kisses. Overhead, through the intercom, a man read a prayer and said some stuff in Arabic, but the room was still full of chatter and noise. When the prayer was done, a women I knew shook my hand and gave me a hug. Everyone did the same and that meant it was time to eat. 

I somehow ended up at the front of the line and had first pick of all the wonderful food that was on the tables. The woman I knew, she had black eyebrows, painted hands and black eyeliner, she led me through the line of food and with a heavy accent told me what everything was. She even pointed at a bag of tortillas and told me they were tortillas. She was a sweet woman. I wish I knew her name and said more, but there was a language barrier there. 

Hummus, falafels, baklava, fried rice, sandwich triangles filled with a savory mixture of potatoes and herbs, hard boiled eggs and mini Snickers every where. Every kind of morning pastry was laid on the table including my banana bread. There were a few things I had never seen before so I scooped them up and tried them. I tried some fluffy, green egg casserol thing that was very good. I tried scrambled eggs with some kind of reddish sauce in it. I had a mushroom stir fry that, when combined with the eggs, was bordering on magical. I had a flat fried bread and some chili beans.

I ate my plate of goodies next to another woman I knew from the article I wrote. We talked about the story and how the last time she was interviewed by a reporter, the story brought about some very nasty comments about her being Muslim and Islam. She said she was a little afraid to talk to me for my story, but she happened to be in the right place at the right time and she turned out to be a great addition to the article. I also told her that I was surprised that there weren't as many negative and hateful comments posted to my story. That's a good thing really.

I also told her the reason why I wanted to do such a story. It's because the only time I read the words "Islam" and "Muslim" in the newspaper is when it's a negative story about bombs and casualties. Many Americans don't know anything about Islam and about who Muslims really are. I see that the same way I see Native Americans in the news. Native issues are under reported and the stories that are written about us are almost always negative. So I know what that feels like to pick up the paper and read an article that's only about the negative aspects of your community. I know that that's not the whole story and there's so much more to us that's never given any ink. And the Muslim community is much bigger than the Native community in the United States, and people still don't understand anything about them. Just like they don't understand anything about Natives. So I wanted to write this story because Natives and Muslims are the same. 

All this at 8:30 in the morning. Around 9, the children were getting antsy and excited. When someone called for the children to meet in the main room on the men's side, they ran, and they were met with balloons and candy. The mothers and women looked on through a one-way mirror and cheered as their sons and daughters received their gift. A door joining the main room and the women's room swung open and closed as excited little ones carried large and small gifts back to their mothers. "Mom! Look what I got!"

Children getting their gifts. There's also a reflection of two women talking in the middle of the picture.

 

listen to ‘Kids getting their gifts on #Eid’ on Audioboo

Eid was a great experience. When I have the chance to go out in to a different community and learn about people, their passions, their hobbies and their way of life, I feel good inside. In that respect, I'm very lucky that I'm a features reporter. 

Solar Cooking

I wrote a story a few months ago about a Solar Cookoff that was held here.I thought it was awesome to cook something using only the power of the sun. I always try my best to save energy and recycle so this was something I wanted to do to save even more energy. We have plenty of sunshine and so it was a perfect project.

I made my own solar oven the next weekend. Two cardboard boxes, newspaper, plexiglass and lots of tape and foil. It took me a day to make this thing and less than $10. I gathered supplies from all over town and had fun using a ruler and math to build something with my own hands. This, coming from a person who works at a desk all day...

It's not pretty but I've made oatmeal cookies, beans and Latin chicken in it. It gets to about 200 degrees, the same temperature as a slow cooker on a low setting. Just recently I made the chicken and it took all day while I was at work, the same as if it were in a slow cooker, but I didn't have to plug it in.

Beans in the solar oven.

I think this thing is great and I feel we are wasting too much of the sun's energy. It's just pounding down on every inch of the Earth and we're not doing much with it. I would have no idea how to do the math, but I didn't use any electricity to make two meals and some cookies. I plan to make more foods in the solar oven. A quick "slow cooker recipes" search brings up so many delicious ideas.

The Latin chicken, by the way, was delicious. It has black beans, red peppers, sweet potatoes, hot salsa, cilantro, lime and a few hearty spices. I served it over rice and it was great. 

The not-so-good

I write a food review every week for Pulse called Delightful Dish. It's for delightful dishes; foods that are good. I don't blast restaurants or say too many negative things. I'm not that kind of a critic. If it's not good I simply don't feature it.

After I wrote about all my personal favorite restaurants, I had to get out there and explore the other 500 restaurants in Las Cruces. I listen to what readers and my coworkers say. They tell me that they love specific items at specific restaurants and then I follow their suggestions. Most of the time they're right and these items are delicious. Then there are the other times that I've been disappointed and unsatisfied.

Here's a list, in no particular order, of restaurants and dishes that I didn't like:

Cafe A Go Go — When I walked in I stood awkwardly for someone to help me but then found a seat away from the door where I was ignored for a long time. When I placed my order for "the best thing on the menu" it took a long time. I sometimes just ask for "the best on the menu" or "the most popular menu item."  When the best thing came out it looked impressive. I believe it was some kind of Southwestern wonton with noodles or something like that. I cut the large thing in half and took a bite of ice cold, spicy stuff. It was gross. The waitress was bragging that it's all made fresh and they make it when you order. But I take a bite of this fried wonton with obviously frozen filling. Not a good mixture. What a lie. They made me the next best thing, which was a stir-fried cashew rice dish, which was very bland and not impressive at all. It tasted like something I can make at home — and I suck at making any kind of Asian food.

Pit Stop Cafe — No wonder this place is going downhill. I wrote a story about this place recently and it's a really cute place. It has that old-time, classic hot rods, rockabilly look to it. The menu is very straight forward; breakfast, Mexican food, burgers, sandwiches and other diner foods. The owner played up the pork tenderloin sandwich saying it's the only one in town and everybody loves it. When that sandwich came to me it was an over-sized, breaded pork tenderloin on a small bun. It was extremely dry and extremely bland. It didn't even taste that 'porky.' I have a feeling it was frozen and heated up because it came to my table really fast and I think a piece of meat that size cooks longer than 5 minutes. My sister ordered the hamburger and it was pretty generic and there was nothing special about it. 

Pullaro's Italian Restaurant — I ate here last fall for the first time. It was the last time. I'm not going to complain about the food. The food was good. I just don't feel comfortable paying $20 for one person to eat here. That's how much my meal was and I was still hungry when I was finished it. I realize homemade sauces take a lot of time to prepare and that noodles take a while to stuff by hand, but charging $20 for a single plate of pasta — and not even that much pasta — is too much.

Main Street Bistro — This place is out of business right now, and it's a shame because it was in a great place; right in the middle of the downtown area. I had the Hawaiian burger when it first opened and was very satisfied. I had my birthday dinner here with my friends and it was disappointing. I ordered the burger and it was good. My friends ordered from the dinner menu and the pasta was absolutely horrible. The green chile chicken Alfredo was drowning in olive oil and the noodles appeared to be old and stale. On top of that, the service was horrible. I also didn't like the look of the restaurant either. It was really dark, and as a result, a really bright white light came through the windows making it hard to see anyone sitting in front of you.

Abraham's — This place is so tacky; wood panel walls and pastel art from a time before I was born. I had green chile enchiladas and they were horrible. They tasted like enchiladas from northern New Mexico, which is why I grew up hating Mexican food in northern New Mexico. They were too spicy and the sauce was just lackluster and tasteless besides really spicy. The burger was average, I can't complain about any burger, it's impossible to mess it up. The view... This restaurant is the highest restaurant in Las Cruces. You would think it faces the Organ Mountains and that the view would be impressive. No. It's an ugly view through dirty windows of a neighboring abandoned building and the ugly roof tops of other office buildings. There's also a really creepy cartoon character on the menu. It's a skinny lion wearing a coat and no pants with a perverted smirk on his face.

And there are a few things that some restaurants do that gets under my skin:
• I hate it when they post crappy, greasy and blurry photos on their Facebook pages.
• I hate cloth napkins that are so starchy, they don't pick up grease or sauce from your fingers.
• I hate really low light.
• I hate it when they install TVs and they're always tuned to sweaty, bloody sports (my boyfriend will forget I exist if there's a TV with sports on).
• I hate it when they say they have the best such-and-such in town because most likely they don't — because mostly likely they haven't eaten at every restaurant that serves this item.
• I hate restaurants that are too full of themselves (La Posta and Double Eagle. One is famous for what? The other is way too expensive to even look at. Yeah. I don't like fancy restaurants that cost $60 per person. If I won the lottery, I still wouldn't like these kinds of restaurants.).
• I don't appreciate it when restaurants don't have vegetarian options on their menu.
• I hate it when they add bacon to every other item to make it different or special. It's not special, it's gross (sorry, I don't like bacon). Bacon may work for some items but having it sneak into a dish unannounced — that wouldn't normally come with bacon — is off putting.
• I also hate Village Inn, Denny's and IHOP.

I think, generally, the food here in Las Cruces is good. I usually don't have too many complaints and I'm definitely not a picky eater. I'm pretty laid back and I appreciate the effort people put into cooking a meal for someone they don't know.

Healthier

As part of my job, I visit restaurants all over Las Cruces and I eat many wonderful — and not so healthy — things. I have a passion for food and I absolutely love to cook. This became a problem about a year ago when some of my clothes weren't fitting anymore. There was actually a time when I sat at my desk in pain from the denim digging into my waist.

That was a wake-up call for me. I didn't want to buy bigger clothes. I didn't want to be sweaty and uncomfortable all the time. And I didn't want to have my already high blood pressure to go any higher to where it might cause a real problem.

So I took a step back and looked at all the things I was eating; spaghetti, buttery breads, hamburgers a few times a week, fast food, lots of meats and lots of eating out. It's kind of a lot.

I already know all about diabetes and heart problems because I've written on those topics quite extensively for Healthy U magazine. I know what causes it and I know what doctors say to prevent it, but I never listened. I did cut down on a lot of sugars because a member of my family recently was diagnosed with diabetes. But I was still eating out a lot and gaining weight.

I changed some things over the year.

First, I stopped eating out a lot. I've eaten at almost every restaurant in Las Cruces and I should've been content with that, but I wasn't. Now I only eat out when I go somewhere to write about it.

Here are a few healthy favorites from local restaurants:

 A vegetarian platter from Santorini. Is has spicy tzatziki and humus, veggies and spanikopitas.

Black bean burger and house salad at Spirit Winds. This burger is unbelievable! Really. Try it.

Fillete al ajillo from Delicias Cafe. It's fish with garlic-chile dipping oil, steamed veggies and a feta cheese-spinach salad. 

 Chicken wonton soup from Boba Cafe. I heard that hot chile raises your metabolism. This spicy bowl should make your metabolism sky rocket. It's really hot, but it's really good.

Then, I started eating egg whites only. I also eat a lot more oatmeal in the mornings and buying more fresh produce. This means I eat a lot of seasonal foods and find recipes that include these foods.

Portion sizes! I know what portion sizes are. We all do. Sometimes they're so ridiculously small it makes me mad to think about it. But I've been abiding by these rules, mostly (...trying to). And to do this I add more variety of foods. For instance: at lunch I bring to work a large salad and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a cup of milk (you cannot have PB&J without milk. I tried. And the next day I brought milk). The salad is a filling lunch by itself so I have the PB&J for a snack as the workday winds down so then I'm not too hungry when dinner time comes around. And then dinner might include a small salad, lots of cooked squash, half a cup of white rice and marinated Cuban pork. It's filling, especially with a tall glass of iced tea.

To help me with portion sizes and calculating calories, I have signed up for Myfitnesspal.com. It has been extremely helpful lately because I now realize just how many calories are in some foods. 400 calories in my PB&J! So sometimes I make a half a sandwich instead. Only 17 calories in a fistful of carrots. I eat those with hummus instead of crackers or pita bread. It's like a game to me.

Exercising has become a daily habit in my life as well. I try to make it to the gym six times a week. Lately I hit a plateau and I keep telling myself that muscle weighs more than fat. I broke away from that, though, and have been losing one pound per week for the last three weeks.

These habits and changes were implemented into my life slowly. It is a lifestyle change. Before, I hated to get on the scale and I never did. Now I weigh in every week. I didn't pay attention to calories and now I do. I always filled myself and got full when I cooked something good. Now I limit myself, savor it and save some for lunch. I never paid attention to advice from others and now I eat more blueberries because my sister said they're good for you and I don't eat after 8 p.m. because my boyfriend said that's when your metabolism slows down significantly.

I've lost more than 30 pounds since last year and my blood pressure is amazing. It's a slow process, but just think: next year, if I keep this up, I'll lose another 30 pounds. That's 60 pounds! That sounds like a good deal to me. I'm in no hurry to get to the beach (I hate beaches anyways. They smell like dead things and sea creatures release sperm and eggs in it. Ew!). I decided to do it naturally and slowly because fake, powdered shakes sounds disgusting and skipping meals is ridiculous.